So I just watched all the movies directed by Hitoshi Matsumoto...

1： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:20:54.39 ID:3S4IMD7m

ワイの採点　100点満点
My score (out of 100) 

大日本人　35点

テンポが悪く間延び。
質の悪いコントを無理に引き伸ばしただけ。

Dai Nipponjin - 35/100

Bad pacing, flat, slow and stupid.

It feels like they just stretched a bad quality skit

http://blog-imgs-57.fc2.com/g/e/i/geitsuboo/20131101080101.jpg

しんぼる　40点

スケールに内容が付いていけてない。幼稚。

Symbol - 40/100


The contents haven't lived up to the scale. Childish.

http://blog-imgs-57.fc2.com/g/e/i/geitsuboo/20131101080106.jpg

さや侍　45点

普通の映画風で冗長。退屈。 

Saya Zamurai - 45/100


Normal movie style, redundant. Boring.

http://blog-imgs-57.fc2.com/g/e/i/geitsuboo/20131101080110.jpg

R１００　40点

だから何？と言いたくなる駄作。

R100 - 40/100


A dud which would make you want to say "So what?"

http://blog-imgs-57.fc2.com/g/e/i/geitsuboo/20131101080116.jpg

2： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:21:12.78 ID:J8Pvq+GV

しんぼるが40点とか甘すぎだろ
40 points for Symbol? Wow, someone's very kind with his scores.

6： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:23:06.57 ID:uN30Gi5c

本人がグダグダ喋ってるのを見たほうがまだマシなんよね

もうドキュメンタリー映画作ればええんちゃうかな

It's actually much better to watch Matsumoto himself on screen go on blabbering.
Why doesn't he just make a documentary-style movie instead?

7： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:23:26.92 ID:96edFPLo

激甘採点じゃねーか
Wow, your scoring is sooooooooo kind.

9： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:23:59.72 ID:kDZam6Fr

やさC
You're so nice

10： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:24:08.13 ID:3ftytcuW

大日本人が一番ましじゃね？

それかさや侍

Isn't Dai Nipponjin the most decent one?
That or Saya Zamurai.

11： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:24:54.89 ID:QmFipkdk

しんぼるは笑えるぶんまだマシ
The fact that you can still laugh at Symbol means that it's pretty decent

14： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:25:50.30 ID:4YvhL3rq

大日本人は映画館で見たけどつまらなくてショックだった

お金はいいから見た時間だけ返してほしい

I watched Dai Nipponjin at the movie house and was shocked at how boring it was.
I don't mind spending money on it, I just want them to give back the time I spent.

15： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:26:29.80 ID:1OO2kioe

高杉やろ
Your scores are too high

16： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:26:46.68 ID:fVXKq+Md

自分の良さを活かした普通の映画を撮ればいいのに

なんでこんな変化球ばっか投げるんだ

He should be making movies in which he can put his good traits to better use.
Why does he keep on throwing these off-beat breaking balls?

27： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:28:51.95 ID:dC1OLhSg

>>16

ストレートで140kmでないからや

Because his fastball can't even hit 140kph

17： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:26:52.16 ID:M3EEPBbi

どんだけ酷いのか一回見てみたい
I actually want to watch them once to see how bad these movies are

32： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:30:48.05 ID:Yz7N/9oJ

>>17

テレビでやんないね
Well, they won't be showing these on TV

19： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:27:01.34 ID:vCRo7cYq

全部見るということはそれなりに松本が好きだろうから

高評価もうなずける

By watching all of them, that means that you actually like Matsumoto to some degree.
Then I can understand these high scores.

20： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:27:22.84 ID:vl7C58nu

これは大甘採点

Amazingly lax scoring

22： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:27:48.28 ID:BsHPU8OL

ワイさや侍しか見たことないけどあれが一番マシなのか（驚愕）
Saya Zamurai's the only one I have seen. So that's the most decent one? (shocked)

23： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:28:09.31 ID:JWJWODTh

中身なんてからっぽでいいからひたすらコントな映画つくればいいのに
He should just make a movie full of comedy skits, even if it's essentially empty

25： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:28:38.89 ID:KxzuXOT7

しんぼるは普通に面白かった(小声)
Symbol was actually good (whispers)

26： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:28:47.05 ID:+vVM6rSi

全部見るとか苦行やんけ
Watching everything is like penance

31： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:30:18.75 ID:a/2Kv1FL

時間の無駄だと何故気がつかない
Why didn't you realize that it was just a waste of time?

35： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:31:14.08 ID:3QjLSGqs

さや侍見たけど「ある程度ウケる」という趣旨で進まにゃならん話なのに肝心の芸が全く笑えなくて苦行だった

I watched Saya Zamurai, and the story should be proceeding with the premise that it should 'at least be funny to some extent', but the actual jokes weren't funny at all, and it was such a pain to watch

36： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:31:25.11 ID:XJSxUAqc

子供時代の話映画化しろ
He should make a movie of his childhood instead

39： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:33:35.60 ID:7ivNMDua

しんぼるのテンポの遅さｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗｗ

同じ内容で時間半分にできたで

Symbol's slow pacing wwwwwwwwwwww
He could've squeezed in all of that in about half the time

40： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:34:01.21 ID:wozMVi7U

映画が好きじゃないのに映画撮っちゃう人
He's the person who doesn't like movies, but makes them

42： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:34:34.74 ID:hjEzyZcU

オタキングがメチャ褒めてたな
Ota King praised him so much

http://px1img.getnews.jp/img/archives/imp/ncn_2011_42_13412.jpg

43： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:35:20.17 ID:yH1IjkBj

松本はアドリブが上手いんだから一からきちんと作り上げる映画は会わないんだよ
Matsumoto's good at spontaneous adlibs, so he's not supposed to be planning out and making movies from scratch

46： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:36:45.49 ID:ZqzULKHo

>>43

なおちゃんと作るコントもすべった模様

フリートークだけやね

The skits which he also took time to create were flops too.
All he can do is spontaneous free-talking.

44： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:36:15.11 ID:ab/0qp/K

激甘採点すぎるわ
Damn, those scores are so kind

48： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:37:13.02 ID:EywpuYUJ

大日本人は今まで見た映画で最悪だった

あれは0点やろ

Dai Nipponjin was the worst movie that I have ever seen.
That should be 0 points.

http://pds.exblog.jp/pds/1/200712/04/79/a0010479_20314960.jpg

49： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:37:29.32 ID:ZqzULKHo

一人ごっつも今思えばすべってた
Looking back at Hitori Gottsu, it was also a flop

http://pds.exblog.jp/pds/1/200811/18/63/a0035263_0331398.jpg

54： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:38:50.29 ID:tzKpSSTa

>>49

カリスマ的雰囲気だけで持ってた
He just managed to get by with his charisma

52： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:38:13.05 ID:+xiHe9g3

たけしが大島組スタッフ使ってるように

有能なスタッフあてがってやれよ吉本は
Just like how Takeshi uses the Oshima-gumi staff, Yoshimoto should provide Matsumoto with capable staff members as well

53： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:38:38.44 ID:LsMcA8bR

大日本人はヒーロー物として好きだけどなぁ。
I actually like Dai Nipponjin as a hero flick.

61： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:40:39.85 ID:5i8z4Y0N

>>53

発想だけは結構おもろかったんやけどなぁ

獣をもっと生々しくすれば面白かったかもと思う

The idea itself was pretty interesting.
It might have been better if they made the monsters more vivid and life-like, though.

83： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:47:08.18 ID:fqxXmAKy

>>53

地味に特撮で嬉しかった
I was actually happy that it was tokusatsu

55： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:39:04.77 ID:ieAto5ON

シンボルは一点もやれない
I can't give even a single point to Symbol

59： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:40:07.22 ID:inWd7fEP

近所のTSUTAYAでも誰も借りてなかったわ

No one's been renting his movies from the TSUTAYA near our home

64： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:41:03.16 ID:JFkIaL/H

しんぼるはところどころ面白かったけど映画でやる意味がわからん
Symbol was good in some portions, but I don't get why they had to make that into a movie

69： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:41:59.99 ID:ZqzULKHo

全国ロードショーを取り敢えずやめよう

単館上映かネット配信にすれば傷も浅くて済むのに

He should stop having his movies shown at nationwide roadshows.
The damage on him would be much less if he just had them released at one movie house or on the Internet.

72： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:43:39.66 ID:aVs8VxaS

まず普通の映画をつくれ

それから普通じゃない映画をつくれ

He should make a regular movie first.
Then he should do something that isn't normal.

76： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:45:22.26 ID:n6yZ5bCC

>>72

さや侍でこの上ないほど普通な映画を作ったもよう
But apparently, Saya Zamurai was as normal as it gets

78： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:46:02.90 ID:vl7C58nu

>>72

さや侍は渾身の正統派映画やんけ
Saya Zamurai was an orthodox movie to which he gave his all

74： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:44:52.67 ID:mfjFM3J1

普段からたけしは恥ずかしい位のど真ん中ストレート投げるけど、松本はやらないからなぁ

Takeshi normally throws straight fastballs right down the middle that are even embarrassing to a point, but Matsumoto won't

77： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:46:01.41 ID:FoJK83sE

ニコニコの企画で三作見たけど酷評されてたしんぼるが一番マシだったな

さや侍は本当にひどかった

I watched 3 of his movies on a Niconico special feature once, but Symbol which got such bad reviews was the most decent one. Saya Zamurai was just horrible.

79： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:46:30.91 ID:lFibIRty

一人ごっつは今見たら全然笑えないやろうなぁ

板尾にやらせた方が面白いと思うわ

It probably won't even be funny when you watch Hitori Gottsu right now.
I think it would be funnier if you let Itao do it.

82： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:47:07.15 ID:Q37T7AN8

松本はテレビサイズのコント慣れし過ぎてる

だから映画で100分も見せられるとくどい

Matsumoto has just gotten too much used to comedy skits on TV.
That's why it gets too tedious when it's shown to you for 100 minutes in a movie.

88： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:48:14.51 ID:wQCjkcJy

テレビでやっちくり～

なおやらん模様

Show these movies on TV~

But it seems that they won't.

95： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:49:39.37 ID:JmdyeZhc

>>88

ネガキャンになってしまうからしゃーない
Can't be helped since it will just be like a negative campaign against him

91： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:48:52.28 ID:tMoWVNL3

浜田の深夜番組でも映画宣伝してて苦笑した

I just gave a chuckle when he also went on to promote his movie on Hamada's late night program

92： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:48:54.10 ID:n6yZ5bCC

大日本人の最後はアメリカと日本の関係を皮肉ったメタなんやろ？

作中でも「アメリカ好きじゃないんだよね～」って口に出してるし間違いないはず

He was sarcastic about the relationship between Japan and the US towards the end of Dai Nipponjin, right?
Even during the movie itself, there were lines like "But I don't like America~" so there's no doubting it.

108： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:54:17.20 ID:xCErU+Qf

>>92

そういう裏メッセージとかが寒いわ

だからさや侍は馬鹿馬鹿しい方向にしててそういう点では好き

おもんないけど

Hidden messages like that are pathetic.
That's why I liked Saya Zamurai for the fact that he set it off to a more stupid path.
It was boring, though.

96： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:49:43.84 ID:/o5o8s8f

さや侍は本当に酷い

坊主がJ-POPを歌いだすシーンなんて寒気を通り越して凍死するかと思うレベル

Saya Zamurai was truly horrible.
Especially the scene where the bouzu suddenly started singing J-POP, I thought I'd die from freezing. 

101： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:51:51.85 ID:O49YrxPn

みうらじゅん

水道橋博士

今田

褒めてんのはよく分からん3人のみ

Jun Miura
Suidobashi Hakase
Imada

Only these 3 people have went on to praise his works.

104： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:53:27.46 ID:Az/z6iwU

>>101

みうらじゅんはネタ
Jun Miura's is just a joke

97： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:50:06.52 ID:q1lXVNus

理解されない天才みたいな風潮にするのは無理がある
Treating him like this misunderstood genius is pushing it too far

98： 風吹けば名無し 2013/10/29(火) 17:51:05.47 ID:F3uzLCLJ

>>97

十分にお笑い芸人として天才の評価はされたからね
Because he was definitely recognized as a genius in the comedy world

Original Thread

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